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Many parents begin estrangement in what I call the naïve stage, the quiet confidence that their relationship with their child is strong enough that estrangement could never happen to them. But the shift from naïve to shock often happens in a single moment. One text, one conversation, one new influence, and suddenly the relationship you thought was stable feels completely unrecognizable. The shock stage is where parents realize they were never actually exempt from something they never imagined co
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The class I enjoy teaching most focuses on estrangement and the child cycle because it reveals what parents are missing: this isn’t one problem, it’s two competing systems. Parents are trying to preserve the relationship, while adult children are operating from a completely different framework. When parents finally see that they are the only ones still concerned with saving the relationship, confusion turns into clarity. That moment — when everything finally makes sense — is why this work matter
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